


down.

by jedihowell



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Swearing, Vomiting, dan & phil - Freeform, dan has an anxiety attack, fluffy fluff, i love these 2 so much, i've written them in the past and deleted it all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 14:51:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13250529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedihowell/pseuds/jedihowell
Summary: dan has an anxiety attack when he is out with phil. phil is a sweetheart like always.





	down.

**Author's Note:**

> hello author here!  
> i am no expert on anxiety disorder this is just from my personal experience with GAD (generalised anxiety disorder). i am in no way saying that dan has GAD or an anxiety disorder this is purely fiction.
> 
> the title is the name of a song written by dodie, you should listen bc its absolutely beautiful and i love it and i loe her.  
> link to song: https://youtu.be/7RiJeswrEbw

Dan knew today was a bad day. Him and Phil had planned to meet up with PJ and then go shopping. He loved hanging out with Phil and PJ, but as of right now, he just wanted to stay in the warmth and safety of his bed.

Dan slithered out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He didn't feel much like putting on a jumper, it seemed like too much work. The winter was getting to his bones through the walls of his and Phil's apartment, but he couldn't be bothered to layer up more. He trudged his way to the kitchen and grabbed a bowl and a box of cereal before settling onto the sofa. Not long after Dan arrived in the kitchen appeared a Phil, who was wide eyed at 9 o'clock in the morning. Even on days where Dan's anxiety wasn't stabbing him in the back he wondered how Phil could look so happy so early in the morning.

"Good morning, are you feeling alright?" Phil asked Dan who was now staring off into empty space.

"Mhm," Dan managed to mumble out. Dan didn't talk much when his mental state was rotten, and when he did, it was usually very snappy and sharp, so he opted just not to say much. Plus, his mind was going through the millions of ways that the day could go wrong, so it didn't give him much time to say anything.

"Are you sure?" Phil asked, almost always knowing what was wrong with Dan. They had been best friends and boyfriends for 8 years and lived together for so long that literally nothing could get past Phil.

"Mhm."

 

Phil had been the first person Dan had confided in about his GAD. Phil had been there at Dan's lowest moments, when he was struggling to take his exams and then proceeding to drop out of law school. He had supported Dan from the very beginning, even encouraging Dan to start his own YouTube channel, despite Dan's protests. Phil had always been Dan's go-to person for when he was very close to having an attack. That meant that Phil knew what led up to Dan's attacks and what typically happens to him during one. And if this morning meant anything, it meant that today was not one of Dan's good days.

\---

Dan was in the taxi when he could feel his levels rising. Of course it wasn't at a point where he felt that he needed to go home, but it was an uneasy feeling.

"Hey, you really don't look like you feel alright. If you want to go home I can call PJ and tell him that we'll resche-" Phil tried to say but was cut off.

"No. We haven't seen PJ in several months and I know you really wanted to see him. I'm fine, honestly." Dan interrupted adamantly.

Phil looked at Dan and frowned slightly, knowing that Dan was not 'fine, honestly'. It was no use arguing with him, he was stubborn and had already made up his mind

\---

Dan was feeling pretty alright, the fuzziness in his stomach had gone away at some point in the last hour and he was laughing and joking along. They soon finished their meal and before Dan knew it, were saying goodbye to PJ and heading to the shopping centre down the road to look for some clothes.

As soon as Dan set foot in one of the 50 clothing stores, his stomach flipped over. He knew this wasn’t a good idea. There were bright lights and colours flashing along to the obnoxiously deafening music playing in this hell-scape. Dan had to get out. It was overwhelming, so many things happening at once. He tapped on Phil’s shoulder.

“I really don’t like this place,” He said quietly, hoping that no one but Phil heard.

“I know but I’m looking for some shirts. It will only take a few minutes,” Phil responded.

Dan knew that if he didn’t leave this place he was going to be sick. He was going to cry and shake and scratch at his skin and faint.

He tapped on Phil’s shoulder again, this time his face was completely drained of colour and his breathing heavy.

“What do you need no- oh shit, Dan I’m so sorry!” Phil turned around, who saw Dan clutching his chest with tears streaming down his face. Dan was now fully hyperventilating and weak.

Phil helped Dan up from the floor of the shop and practically carried him to the nearest washroom which was 4 shops over, because he knew that Dan would soon need the toilet or a trash bin.

Dan was nearly running to the toilets when they left the shop and almost didn’t make it into a cubicle before vomiting. Phil followed in after Dan and began to rub small circles in Dan’s back, before his hand being smacked away. Phil had forgotten. Dan didn’t like to be touched when he was sick. He was almost never sick, and it was humiliating to Dan. He hated it, every ounce of his being. His face and eyes were red and soaking with tears. His body, shaking over the toilet as he retched into it. 

When Dan had finished, Phil reluctantly left Dan to buy him a water. He returned to the toilets to see Dan, sat against the wall, breathing heavily. Phil quickly took the lid off the bottle and poured a bit of water into Dan’s mouth to help wash the taste of sick out. Phil flushed the toilet, grimacing as it went into the sewers. He went back over to Dan who was now calming down, but still a bit shaken.

“Phil can we leave?” Dan choked out, but was stated like a statement.

“Yes of course. I’m so sorry, I knew you weren’t having a good day, I love you so much and I’m so sorry,” Phil responded, his voice soft and loving.

\---

Dan soon realized that he was being helped out of a taxi and into their apartment by Phil. Dan must have slept on the way home, because he couldn’t even remember getting into the cab. Phil held his hand up the stairs to the bathroom and helped Dan to get undressed. He waited until Dan was out of the shower to go fix his bed. Phil knew that everytime Dan had an attack he would be exhausted. Attacks always made him so tired, they drained every bit of energy Dan had in him.

Dan walked into the bedroom and crawled into bed. The warm and cozy sheets soothed him, and was soon joined by Phil, who was now playing with his hair.

“I love you so much, so so much,” Phil stated. “So so much.”

“Mm love you too, thank you so much,” Dan replied, his heart finally calm and his body warm.


End file.
